sex, magic and Romano
by flower7052
Summary: this will turn into yaoi (it may take a long while but it will happen!) Romano has been turned into a girl and hates it at first but then he realizes some of the perks of being a woman. I have moved the rating down a bit for now but its likely to go back up at some point!
1. Chapter 1

Romano took a few steps forward, he was sure it would be here somewhere. The basement smelt musty and each step he took echoed through the old house. Little did he know someone was standing on the stairs, watching him as he leafed through pile after pile of old books on fairys and ghosts.

"Hey! Freeze!" a slightly tipsy England stood on the stairs to his basement with a smirk on his face

"Shit! What are you doing here?"

"It's my house Romano, what are you doing?" England took a step forwards as romano picked up a heavy, old book "put that down!"

"what if I don't?" romano went to slip the book into his bag but as he did so he heard England muttering something "what are you doing?" the muttering continued and to Romano's concern he realised it was latin "umm, England? What are you.."

A loud band and a flash of white light cut Romano off. The room filled with smoke and sparks flew out from where Romano once stood. "Shit, I killed him" England waved the smoke away with his hand and walked towards where Romano should have been "Romano? Romano…" Sitting on the cold floor, hands wrapped around its knees sat a young girl crying, her long brown hair in her face, curl drooping and angry eyes looking as if they were thinking of every way to kill England. "Scotland! I think I turned someone into a girl again!"


	2. Chapter 2

"So, this is now romano?" Scotland starred at the shivering Italian girl sat on the sofa "are you sure?"

"I'm telling you, it's got to be him, her, him, oh whatever it is now!" England got up from his chair in front of the lounge fireplace and walked over to Romano "are you going to talk or are you just going to sit like that forever?" Romano looked up at England with angry eyes and opened her mouth to speak but no matter how much she tried, no sound come out "well, that's a problem then, I took its voice as well…."

"We could give it a white bored to write on, I have one in my room" England turned to look at Wales who was actually talking sense for once "I'll go get it!" Wales dived up from his seat next to Romano and ran to his room.

"So, we need to make arrangements" Scotland leant forward in his chair, letting his red hair fall into his eyes "Romano, you'll have to stay here for a while – we can't have everyone knowing what's happened"

"what! it tried to rob me!"

"shut up Iggy"

"Don't call me that"  
"He's staying here, he can share my room, we also need to find new clothes for you and you need a new name in case anyone comes visiting"

"Got it! Here you go Romano!" Wales ran back and handed a whiteboard and pen to Romano who started writing immediately: 'I hate you bastards, I'm not wearing girls clothes, I'm not staying and I'm not changing my name!'

England sighed as he read the message "what would the world say if they realised the head of the mafia was now a girl and don't even get me started on how it would affect your brother, he's already messed up as it is poor lad…."

'fine! I'll stay, just don't tell Feli'

"Good! From now on your my cousin Elizabeth from when rome invaded and you help Scotland manage his islands!" England patted Romano on the head and smiled "then there's the clothes, I think Scotland has a mini – skirt you could borrow"

"It's a Kilt!"

"whatever scotty, we'll go get you something to change into!"

"and don't forget the other issues" Scotland sighed "he needs a panic alarm and then there is Ireland"  
"Fucking Leprechauns! Awww there adorable! Fuck off!"

'what was that?'

England removed his hand from the Italians head "that was Ireland, he has split personality disorder and lives in the shed – just stay away from him, hes a bit messed up right now"

'oh, ok then. Why do I need a panic alarm?'

"the Eurotunnel comes up in my garden, France has a habit of paying surprise visits – we'll explain the scoring system to you later but if he comes press the panic alarm and attack him"

'sounds fun'


	3. Chapter 3

'I feel like an idiot' Romano had been writing on the white board non-stop 'people will notice'

"It's fine Liz, no one will notice and you look gorgeous!" Scotland smiled, wiped the board clean and then helped Romano out of the car. It had been two weeks since the 'little accident', as England liked to call it, and now it was world meeting time again. Hugging the board to her chest, Romano walked slightly behind Scotland and England into the meeting hall and glanced around nervously. She wasn't scared as such, she was just apprehensive about how this would go.

"England, Scotland; I'm glad you could come" Japan tuned from placing the papers on the table to face them "you're sitting in your usual seats near America and China; who's this?" a slightly perplexed look come across his face as Japan pointed to Romano.

"Oh, this is Elizabeth my cousin – she manages Scotland's islands" England pushed Romano forwards slightly towards Japan

"I never knew you had a cousin"

"She's from when Rome invaded, we don't usually bring her to meetings and such but we thought, as Scotland's becoming more powerful, it would make sense for her to come along as well"

"I don't really have a seat for her, it wasn't on my plan you see-"

"She can sit with us!" Hungary bounded up to Romano, who was taken slightly off guard "your little hair bows are just so cute! And you're blushing – how adorable!"

Belarus appeared beside Hungary and smiled "who's this then?"

"I think she's a micronation" receiving a glare from Romano, Hungary turned to England "is she?"

"Sort of, she looks after Scotland's islands for him"

"How sweet!" Belarus grabbed Romano's hand and dragged her to a corner of the meeting room where her, Ukraine, Belgium and Hungary usually sat. Fiddling with the pleats of her tartan miniskirt, Romano sat down awkwardly next to the girls.

"Sorry, we never introduced ourselves; I'm Hungary, this is Belarus, this is Belgium and this is Ukraine!"

'I'm not a proper country so call me Elizabeth or Liz' Romano held the board up for the others to see

"Your name is similar to mine!" squealing, Hungary wrapped her arms around Romano in a quick hug "why don't you talk?"

'England took my voice'

Belarus stood up and screamed across the room at the top of her lungs "England you fucking idiot! How could you!?"

The whole room turned to look between Belarus and England. Going red with embarrassment England asked "how could I do what?" Belarus held up the board for him to see and England sighed "well, she wouldn't stop screaming when she was a baby so I tried to stop it – I didn't realise the spell was permanent"

Belarus sat back down but continued to give both Russia and now England death glares for the duration of the meeting.

Noticing the new girl, France laughed and excused himself from the conversation he was currently involved in. Walking swiftly up to Romano, he wrapped an arm around her waist and moved his mouth down to her ear. Before anyone had time to react, Romano had picked up Hungary's frying pan and hit France with it, hard enough for him to fall over. "I'm sorry but I just couldn't help myself; you look so alluring in that skirt and open neck blouse" France gave another of his signature laughs which resulted in Romano's stiletto clad foot slamming into his privates 'Fuck you'. Sitting back at the table, Romano wiped the board and handed Hungary back her frying pan. Patting her on the back, Hungary smiled "I think you'll fit in just fine"


	4. Chapter 4

"Time to wake up Liz"

Romano turned over on the small camp bed in Scotland's room and opened her eyes a crack. She wanted to complain about the early start but couldn't be bothered to write in the mornings.

"Liz, you awake?"

Throwing a pillow at him as an answer, Romano felt herself blushing; damn Scotland and his sexy accent. As she sat up and adjusted her eyes to the morning sunshine, she glanced around to see what the scot was doing and regretted it immediately. He was doing his perfect red hair in the mirror, shirtless and with very tight trousers which wouldn't be a problem for most people but Romano wasn't most people. Blush deepening, Romano's eyes wandered over his muscular body and then down to his but (which was nearly as nice as Spain's in her opinion). God he was hot.

"umm, Liz, you ok? You're blushing quite a lot and you're starting to drool"

Brain snapping back into focus, Romano wiped her mouth and wrote 'yep, fine, nothing wrong, I'm gonna get dressed now' before grabbing her clothes and running in her half naked state to the nearest bathroom.

Walking into the kitchen a few minutes later, Romano sat at the dining table with the Kirkland brothers (apart from Ireland who was still in the shed trying to kill leprechauns). "So we have a busy day" England began, taking another bite from his toast "Germany is coming over to discuss our financial situations and that means"

'Italys coming with him'

"correct Liz"

'shit' Romano poured herself a glass of juice and then continued 'what if he rocognises me? I'm his brother, well sister, but what if he' a firm hand rested on her own, stopping her writing, and she looked up to see Scotland's emerald eyed gazing at her "It's fine; no offence but your brother is an idiot-it would take a miracle for him to notice"

'I suppose'

England clapped his hands together and picked up the empty plates and glasses to wash "good, now that's sorted we can all get on! They'll be arriving at 11o'clock and I expect you to all be here" turning on the tap he added "oh, and wales- no sugar before then, remember what happened last time"

"yes iggy dear" Wales fluttered his eyelashes at his older brother before running off to check on his secret supply of sweets under his bed.

_Little time skip _

Romano crossed her legs awkwardly as Italy bounced into the room followed by Germany and England. "Hey, you're the new one!" Italy almost sat on Romano's lap as he grabbed onto her curl and pulled it "you've got a curl too!"

"Italy!" picking up the Italian and giving his curl a sharp tug he added "don't do that, you don't like it so she probably won't either"

Relaxing into the corner of the sofa where Germany had sat him, Italy let out a slight 'vee' and then promptly fell asleep as Germany and England started talking. A few minutes later, all hell had broken loose once again. Wales, ignoring England's warning, had eaten a box load of chocolate, sweets, sugar and whatever else he could get his hands on and was now pole dancing around the floor lamp. Ireland had started shooting at plants again which had woken Italy who was now screaming and trying to sit on Germany's head. Germany was less than impressed. Glancing around at the chaos, Scotland grabbed Romano's hand and dragged her out of the room and into the kitchen. Pushing her into the table, Scotland pressed his lips against hers before being pushed away.

'what are you doing!?' Blushing and trying to catch her breath, Romano shoved the board in his face

"come on, no one will miss us and I know you feel the same way"

'what?'

"don't lie Liz, I know what all that was about this morning and it's not the first time you've done it"

Romano started to write but then threw the board away and pulled Scotland into a rough kiss instead. Pressing the other back onto the table, Scotland began unbuttoning her shirt just as the kitchen door opened and England walked in "oh god. I'll leave you to it"

_Spamano will come into this later but for some strange reason this is a Scotland, spain and romano love triangle. How the hell did that happen?_


	5. Chapter 5

_so, this is a bit of a filler chapter before the spamano! sorry if its bad!_

Sunlight flooded in, waking Romano from her sleep. Stretching and sitting up, she glanced at the clock - 10:23 am. Mentally cursing and dragging herself from Scotland's bed, she quickly pulled on her clothes and went to find the others

. Not surprisingly, breakfast was over and the Kirkland's were now getting on with their day (in other words they were annoying the living hell out of each other). After wandering around aimlessly for a bit, Romano decided to forget breakfast all together and instead grabbed a bottle of wine from the kitchen and laid down in the back garden. Ignoring the occasional scream from the shed, it was a nice day. The sun shone down (for once), bees buzzed from flower to flower and the smell of freshly cut grass filled the air. Maybe being stuck here wasn't so bad after all. Finishing her third glass of wine, Romano heard an odd noise; a sort of scraping sound followed by the clunk of metal and what sounded like a voice. Yep, that was definitely a voice. Was it speaking French? Oh god, it was. Suddenly the noise stopped and a metal hatch on the middle of the lawn swung open. "I made it!" A all too familiar laugh filled the air as France climbed out of the tunnel and smiled. As he glanced around triumphantly his eyes rested on Romano and he laughed once again. Slightly tipsy, Romano starred at the Frenchman before remembering what she had been told on his first day here. Reaching into her pocket, Romano pressed the panic alarm she had been given and grabbed the broom to defend herself.

Meanwhile, the Kirkland's were bickering in the kitchen over anything they could think of. Hearing the panic alarm they glanced between each other before remembering Romano. "Don't worry Liz! We're coming!" all at once, the brothers raced out of the back door and lined up in front of France. Scotland was holding a shotgun and had positioned himself directly in front of the Italian; next to him was England who was holding a spell book and sword and standing next to him was wales with something on a lead. Hang on, was that a dragon? Romano blinked and rubbed her eyes before turning back to wales. He had a dragon on a lead. Why the hell did he have a dragon and where did he keep it? As France and the Kirkland's prepared for all-out war once again, the shed door came flying open and out stepped Ireland "where's that bloody frog!? I'll kill him, I will!" Everyone turned to face Ireland who was holding a flaming torch and a pitchfork while chewing on a piece of straw. "ah, umm, mon amie I think I will be going, au revoir!" in less than five seconds, France was back down the tunnel and on his way home. "well then, that went well" England smiled as he put the sword away "wales, put George back in the garage and down forget to lock the door this time and Ireland – just put that out and get back in the shed"

"It's a castle!"

"of course it is Ireland, of course it is" Smiling, England shook his head and walked back towards the house "just keep telling yourself that"


End file.
